


Cut

by ConceptaDecency



Series: The Education of Elim Garak [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Baby Garak, Family, M/M, Marriage, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia, Pre-Canon, Pre-Canon Cardassia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 05:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18585097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConceptaDecency/pseuds/ConceptaDecency
Summary: A very memorable birthday, families, love, rejection, ikri buns, Cardassians, a human, and horrible relatives. In various iterations.





	Cut

It’s his birthday, and that means today he is four years old. Yesterday he was three, but on your birthday you change your age. It's also Seventh Octal, and they are at the market. Usually they go to the market on Second Octal and Sixth Octal, but yesterday Mila had to go with Uncle Enabran to do some work, so Elim stayed with Mok and played with his ships and also helped her to make vaba sauce, except for the part when she had to empty the pot of very hot water into the sink. So he and Mila are at the market today, on his birthday, instead. He doesn't mind. Market days are fun, usually, and Mila has said that because it's his birthday today he can have an ikri bun if he's good. 

The only bad thing about market days is that he can't bring his toys with him. Today it's especially too bad, because he has a new ship and he would like to play with it. Mila gave him the ship this morning for his birthday. It's much better than his other ships, because it's Galor class and it's bigger and it lights up and makes noises when it warps and shoots. He spent the morning shooting some of his other ships. Not the Cardassian ships, of course, because that would be seditious, but the other ships. But Mila says that his toys might get lost or broken if he takes them to the market, and wouldn't that be a pity? He agrees that yes, it would be a pity, and he can play all day when he gets home, so it's better if his Galor class ship stays in their bedroom.

And anyway, the other thing he got for his birthday is a new set of clothes made by Mila and he's wearing them now. They fit perfectly. They are a pair of trousers and a tunic. The trousers are dark blue, and the tunic is made from three colours of fabric: dark blue, like the trousers, for the sleeves, yellow for the sides, and light blue for the neck and front. Mila says the colours bring out his eyes. This means they make his eyes seem bluer and more noticeable, even if his eyes don't really change at all. It's funny that colours can do this, and he's been looking at people's eyes since they arrived in the market to see if their clothes bring them out. The answer is sometimes yes, and sometimes no, and also that different colours of eyes need different colours of clothes to bring them out. He supposes that people don't always want their eyes brought out, because it seems easy enough to choose the right colours to do it. He has decided that he is a person who likes his eyes brought out, so he will try to wear only clothes that bring them out from now on.

Another thing he likes about his new clothes is that the dark blue isn't really dark blue. It's only dark blue if you look from far away. If you look closely, you can see threads of yellow and light blue mixed in. Mila is holding his left hand as she talks to the greengrocer, so he lifts his right arm slowly up to his eyes. It's dark blue, dark blue, dark blue, and then suddenly he can see the other colours. He keeps moving his arm, closer and closer to his face, until his sleeve touches his nose and the colours blur into each other and it's all dark blue again. Then he slowly moves his arm away until he can see the other colours and then until it's all dark blue again. And then he repeats the process.

"What are you doing?" says a voice in Service Dialect.

He whisks his arm away from his face. He is ashamed, not because he's been caught doing something strange, but because he didn't notice the person until she spoke to him. It is very, VERY important to always be aware of your surroundings, ALWAYS, and never to EVER let other people take you by surprise. Mila tells him this all the time, and even Uncle Enabran makes sure he has practice at this. Sometimes Uncle Enabran tries to sneak up on him, and if Uncle Enabran manages to take him by surprise he is punished. Not with the closet, but usually Uncle Enabran makes him stand in the corner or takes one of his toys away. He had hoped that now that he was four he would be better at this, and he is ashamed that he is not. He looks up at Mila, but she is still talking to the greengrocer. She certainly knows the person is there, but maybe she doesn't know that the person took him by surprise. 

He looks at the person. "Nothing," he replies. He starts to observe her, which is a thing Mila and Uncle Enabran tell him he must ALWAYS do when he meets new people. Maybe if he observes well enough Mila won't be disappointed if she knows he was taken by surprise. 

The person is a girl. She has long, shiny hair plaited into a row around the crown of her head and twisted into a bun at the back, like Mila has sometimes. She is very skinny, but a little taller than he is, so she's probably five. He notices that she too is wearing clothes that bring out her eyes, which are blue, like his and Mila's, but unlike his and Mila's, her clothes are old. Very old. Her shoes are clean and shiny but the toes are scuffed. There are places on her dress where holes and rips have been mended, and some parts of the fabric are thin. The hem of her skirt has lines and a small chain of holes all around the edge, which means it has been let out and put back up and let out again. He knows about these things because he helps Mila when she mends clothes for herself and him and Uncle Enabran. 

"You were doing something, so don't say 'nothing'. That's a lie," says the girl, but she isn't angry. She points at his sleeve. "Can I see?"

He is wary. He doesn't mind showing the girl what his new fabric can do. In fact, he'd be quite pleased to. But Mila and Uncle Enabran have told him that he must be careful when talking to strangers. He mustn't tell them too much about himself. Not his name, or who his mother is, and definitely never whose house he lives in. Not even his age, which is a pity, because he's very proud of being four today. But maybe this is okay? "Mama?" he asks, looking up at Mila. 

"Yes, son, you may show her," says Mila, without even glancing at him. He doesn't need to explain to Mila about the sleeve. This means Mila has observed everything, including probably him being taken by surprise. He hopes she isn't angry and that he'll still get his ikri bun later. But she doesn't seem upset, so probably everything is okay.

"Watch," he says to the girl, and explains about the threads as he demonstrates with his sleeve. "The trousers are the same," he finishes proudly. 

"That's phenomenal," says the girl, squatting to look at his trousers. 

He doesn't know this word, but the girl sounds nice, so he politely says "thank you," like you're supposed to when someone pays you a compliment. 

"You're welcome," says the girl. "What's your name?"

"Mama?" he says again, and when she doesn't answer straight away he pulls on her hand. Sometimes it's okay to tell people his first name, but he's not sure if this is one of those times.

"It's fine, son. Don't interrupt me again, please. I'm speaking to the greengrocer."

"Sorry, Mama." He turns back to the girl. "Elim," he says, nodding politely. 

The girl smiles. "My father is called Elim," she says. 

He smiles back. Lots of men and boys are called Elim, and he always enjoys hearing about another person with his name, whether he's real or in a story. It's so funny, that such different kinds of people can have the same name sometimes. "What's your name?" he asks the girl. 

"Leyny Garak," she says, nodding. "Pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you," he is replying, politely, when Mila turns around very, very quickly. She pulls him to her, so that he nearly trips and has to grab onto her skirt so he doesn't fall down.

"Pleased to meet you, Leyny," says Mila. Her eyes are moving down Leyny's body. He can tell that she is observing Leyny properly for the first time. She gasps and he wonders what has surprised her. Maybe she'll tell him later. "My name is Mila. Are you here with your parents?"

Leyny smiles and nods. "Pleased to meet you, Missus Mila. My mother is there." She points to a woman sitting at the tea stand across the market. The woman is old, older than Mila, even, and Mila is very old. Mila will be twenty-two on her next birthday. That's what she told him this morning. But this woman is maybe even older than Uncle Enabran. She has a little bit of white in her hair, which is plaited and twisted just like Leyny's. Also, she is skinny like Leyny, maybe skinnier, but he thinks that maybe she has a baby inside her, because her tummy is sticking out very big and round through her dress. Also, she is another person who likes her eyes brought out, because he can see, even from far away, that they are blue, too, just like his and Mila's and Leyny's. Also, she is looking at Mila. Very hard. She looks angry. 

Mila squeezes his hand. Very hard. He is still holding onto her dress with his other. He looks up at her. "Ouch, Mama," he says, and she loosens her grip. 

"I'm sorry, Elim," she says, but she doesn't look at him. She's looking back at the woman. Mila doesn't look angry. "Is your mother well?" she asks Leyny. 

"Yes, Missus," answers Leyny. "She's going to have a baby soon." 

Mila breathes in. It's strange that he can feel her breathing from here. "Come, Elim, Leyny," she says. "Let's go say hello to Missus Garak." The greengrocer has given her a bag full of herbs and fruit and vegetables, and she balances it on her hip with one arm and pulls Elim along with the other. Leyny follows. 

"Yes, Mama," he says. How funny that Leyny and her mother are also called Garak. He's met lots of other people called Elim, but he and Mila are the only Garaks he's ever heard of. Maybe that's why Mila wants to say hello. 

Missus Garak stands up as they get near. She crosses her arms and rests them on her tummy. She still looks angry. Now that they are close Elim can observe that her shoes are old and her clothes have been mended many times, like Leyny's. 

"So this is his bastard," says Missus Garak. Her voice is angry, like her face. She hasn't stopped looking at Mila. He doesn't know that word, 'bastard'. He'll remember to ask Mila later. 

"Hello, Missus Garak. This is my son, Elim. It's his birthday. He's four today."

He is surprised. They never tell people these kinds of things. Never. Will Uncle Enabran be angry with Mila? He looks up at her to see if she realises the mistake she's just made, but her face has no expression. 

"I'm sorry to hear that," says Missus Garak. "Four years of shame must be difficult to bear." Now he looks up at Missus Garak with surprise. He's not sure exactly what she means, but it doesn't sound nice and it's definitely not what you're supposed to say when you hear it's someone's birthday. 

Missus Garak is looking at him now. She looks very angry. He wonders what he's done. Of course sometimes adults get angry at children. Mila gets angry when he's been bad, and Uncle Enabran certainly, and even Mok sometimes. But he hasn't been bad, except for letting Leyny take him by surprise, and anyway that's just a thing for him and Mila and Uncle Enabran. He looks at Leyny. Maybe she knows why her mother is angry. But Leyny looks confused, too. 

"He's a good boy and we're very proud of him," says Mila. Now Mila sounds angry, too. But at Missus Garak, not at him. She puts her hand on his shoulder and pulls him to her. He feels a little better. 

"I see no reason for that," says Missus Garak. "Leyny, come here. If you see this boy again, or his mother, you are not to speak to them. You are not to play with this boy, either. He's a bad boy, and she is a bad woman." She grabs Leyny's hand. "We're going home." 

Missus Garak turns and walks away, pulling Leyny along. She has left half a cup of tea on the table. It's still steaming. Leyny looks back at him and blinks.

"Mama, wait," says Mila. She hurries to catch up with Missus Garak. She is no longer holding his hand, which never happens in the market, so he is alone and startled for a moment before he runs to catch up, too. 

When he does catch up, Mila is holding the bag from the greengrocer out to Missus Garak. Everyone is still walking very fast through the crowd. "At least take this, Mama," says Mila. "For Leyny and the other children. And the baby." 

"I don't know you, Madam," says Missus Garak. "We will not accept your charity." 

"Mama, please," says Mila. 

"Leave my family alone," shouts Missus Garak, pushing the bag away. "You harlot. We don't want you." 

Mila stops walking. She holds the bag with both hands and looks at the backs of Missus Garak and Leyny, but Missus Garak and Leyny are soon gone into the crowd. People are staring at Mila, though. Uncle Enabran would be very angry if he knew. They are supposed to avoid attention, always. 

Mila's hands are full, so he grabs her leg. "Mama," he says. He has so many questions. "What's a harlot? And a bastard? Why was Missus Garak angry at us? Why did you call her Mama? Why did she say we're bad?" He knows how this will go, probably, so he tries to ask all of his questions at once.

"Elim," Mila says, "this is a time not to ask questions." He thought she would say that. He squeezes her leg tighter and she shifts the bag back onto one hip and gives him a sort of hug with her free arm. "Let's go get those ikri buns, shall we?"

"We aren't bad if we get to have ikri buns," he says. It's not a question, really, but he uses it like a question, saying it in the hopes that Mila will say no, they aren't bad. Missus Garak seemed so sure of it, so he really would like if Mila said they weren't. 

"Missus Garak is confused," says Mila, taking his hand. "Of course we aren't bad. In fact, let's get two each." 

"Yes, that's a good idea," he says. He feels better. "May I have a white one and a brown one?"

"If they have them, yes you may." Mila begins to lead him towards the ikri stand. 

"Thank you, Mama," he says. He has decided to be extra good today, and that starts with being very polite to Mila. "Mama?"

"Is this going to be a question, Elim?"

"No." It's a lie. He had forgotten, for a moment, what Mila had said, and it _was_ going to be a question, but it's easy enough to get answers without asking questions. 

"Then go ahead."

"This is one of those things we don't tell Uncle Enabran." Easy. 

"That's right, son."

***

The last time he sees her she's even skinnier and her hair is completely white. The style is the same, though. The dress is so old it could very well have been the one she was wearing the first time he saw her, but of course it isn't. He'd remember that. It is skilfully patched and mended, though, and despite its age looks quite elegant in this era of gaudy Federation relief garments. And it certainly brings out her eyes, which are the same bright blue and glaring at him from across the market. He reflects that she's probably benefitted immensely from the Federation's presence on the planet. Before Starfleet Medical came, an old woman of her class and station in life would almost certainly have received nothing more than the bare minimum of healthcare. She likely would have been nearly blind, and she definitely would not have been able to pick one man out of a crowd from twenty-five metres away. 

"What are you looking at?" Julian asks, finally noticing that he is no longer participating in the conversation about saltenmelons and their special place in Cardassian cuisine. 

"That woman. I know her. I think she's coming over to say hello." He takes the melon from Julian -- it's far from ripe, anyway -- places it back in the display with the others, and folds Julian's hand into his. Julian looks at him in surprise, because it's quite an intimate gesture on Cardassia, but then simply squeezes his hand and smiles. 

"Okay," Julian agrees, luckily without asking for more. Elim braces himself. 

"Madam," he says, nodding, when she reaches them. He does not introduce Julian. This is an oversight that is simply not done by polite Cardassians, but if Julian has noticed he gives no sign.

"So you're back." She returns the nod. "I'd heard they were letting exiles return, but I didn't think you'd be one of them."

"Oh? Is that so, Madam?"

"A homosexual and xenophile like _you_ , Elim? Well, I suppose they'll do anything to attract medical personnel to the planet these days." She turns her glare on Julian. "This _is_ your husband the doctor, isn't it?" Her eyes rest on their clasped hands. "Not some other human you're stepping out with?"

"This is Doctor Bashir, yes," he says. 

Julian nods politely. "Pleased to meet you, Madam," he says in his badly-accented Service Dialect. Julian's voice is icy but he seems to realise that this is a time to be quiet and let Elim take the lead.

She nods but does not return the greeting. "No offense, Doctor Bashir. I only ask because unfortunately Elim didn't have the best example growing up. But at least you're married, Elim."

He smiles and grips Julian's hand more firmly. It's probably not necessary, but an extra reminder that this is his situation to deal with, and that Julian should save his gallantry for a more suitable time, is not unwarranted. Julian takes the hint and squeezes back. "How kind of you to think of us," Elim says. "And how are your family?"

"Dead in the Fire." She does not soften her glare. In fact, it becomes more intense as she continues. "Every single one of them. I'm quite alone."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Madam. It's tragic, and so many of us are in the same situation. Perhaps you heard that my mother was also killed? If it weren't for Doctor Bashir, I'd be quite alone myself."

"I heard about your mother." She does not offer condolences. 

"Well, Madam, I'm delighted to see that you haven't changed a bit, but we must bid you farewell. Doctor Bashir and I have to be returning to our home. We wish you health and long life."

She gives them a final glare at that leave-taking and they part. To judge from her walk, she is in excellent health for a woman her age, and no doubt has many, many years ahead of her. 

"Elim," Julian begins. 

"Just an old witch," he says. "Like in your fairy stories. We have them on Cardassia as well."

"Ha ha. I can agree to that. But seriously, who was she?" Julian's adjusted his arm so they are now linking elbows, comportment much more appropriate for a mature married couple in public. Julian is a treasure. He'd understood immediately that the hand-holding was just for dramatic effect. 

"Julian," he says, "this is a time not to ask questions." But he knows he'll allow Julian to have some semblance of the truth out of him by the end of the day. 

Julian knows it too, and cocks a wry eyebrow at him. "Okay," he smirks.

Just then a comforting, honeyed smell floats past on the breeze, tickling and caressing his nose. Perfect. "Are you hungry, my dear?" he asks, and draws Julian in the direction of the ikri stand.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to read more about Garak's early childhood, and especially his relationships with Mila and Tain, check out [Better For Us (If You Don't Understand)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16376039). I don't think it's quite the same universe, mostly because Mila hasn't been rejected by her family in that story, but if you squint it could be. Maybe her dad and sister aren't as awful as her mother.
> 
> I don't usually write angsty stuff, so your comments and kudos are especially welcome on this work (joking, they're always welcome on all my works).


End file.
